User blog:Charlie the Penguin/baws.doc
This is the story of how Wingman taught Charlie the importance of teamwork by defeating an evil monster all by himself. Charlie, Paige, and both halves of Wingman sit on the iceberg, slowly floating away from Club Penguin, which lays in ruins. Charlie: *sits on edge of iceberg and watches as the large wooden "Welcome" sign on the shore crumbles and falls* What a way to begin a story... *sighs* Scorn, Sasquatch, and the evil Wingman mechs have all left, leaving the island heavily destroyed. Aunt Arctic, looking injured with many cuts and torn clothes sneaks out of the Penguin Times office while the pookies are sleeping. She tiptoes downstairs to find the Coffee Shop deserted. Only Gary remains, trying to figure out why the coffee dispenser won't work. Aunt Arctic: Gary, how long have you been here? Gary: I've been here for the past six months trying to get some coffee!! Aunt Arctic: It looks to me like this place has been condemned. *observes walls* This thing looks like it could crumble any moment. Gary: *falls asleep* Aunt Arctic: ... Cadence lays in the dance lounge next door which is now missing its ceiling. She looks out the window at the destroyed town, and goes to take another sip of her shampagne, but stops herself. Cadence: ...No. No. *throws bottle out of already-shattered window* Never again. Paige: *watches Charlie from other side of iceberg* ... *notices a light source out of the corner of her eye* What in the...? *sees that both halves of Wingman are glowing* ...? *waddles over* What's going on? Both halves of Wingman slowly morph together until they are engulfed in a blinding ball of light. The light fades away, and Wingman coughs and sits up. Wingman: *activates translator* 'Sup. Paige: But... I thought you were dead. Wingman: I was, but I couldn't respawn because some hacker kept tampering with my code. Paige: You can respawn? Wingman: Yeah, it's a built-in hidden feature of my helmet I never told anyone about due to plot convenience. Paige: I see. Wingman: Well, what did I miss? Paige: Uh, things haven't been going so great, actually. Scorn, giant Sasquatch, an army of robot things that talked like you, hurricanes, fires, Sasquatch spread a bunch of flesh-eating giant fleas, a bunch of people turned into black puffles after the bombs dropped, then we attracted the attention of Protobot and there was this whole civil war between us and a bunch of robots that only took like three hits before exploding... Wingman: Where's Charlie? Paige: He's... over there. *points to Charlie, still on the edge of the iceberg, still looking depressed* Charlie: *sighs* Wingman: *hovers over* Hey Charlie, how you doin'? Charlie: Oh... hey Wingman... *reaches out and scratches his head* Wingman: Come on, I'm back! Aren't you happy to see me? :D Charlie: I'm sorry, Wingman... things just haven't been going so great ever since you kinda, you know... Wingman: Died? Yeah, Paige told me about it. What's with the robots that apparently talked like me though? Charlie: Oh, I didn't know you could respawn yet, so I put your helmet in Gary's puffle mech to try and make you be able to take control of it until I could revive you. Basically, it turned evil and got to Gary's cloning machine. Wingman: Ah. But how did you get my helmet back? Charlie: Each clone had the helmet, so I found a dead one. *looks at* Interesting how when you morphed back together your helmet did as well. Wingman: Why did you bring my helmet... or me for that matter... if you thought I was dead? Charlie: Oh, just in case you magically returned to life all of a sudden... Wignman: Oh, okay. Funny how that worked out... ...Dude, could you try and smile? This is getting depressing. Charlie: Don't you get it, Wingman? This is all my fault. I was the one who turned Sasquatch into a giant, and I was the one who released the robots, all when I was just trying to revive you. Wingman: Oh... Well, don't be so hard on yourself, Scorn would've destroyed the island anyway! Charlie: Yeah, I guess... Wingman: So, what's the plan? Charlie: ...There is no plan. Wingman: W-what do you mean? You always have a plan! Charlie: Not this time. What can we do, everyone is dead anyway. The only way we can save our species is by procreating with the few survivors of our species and that's too adult for this wiki. Wingman: But it's still okay to make jokes about alcohol and drugs. Charlie: What do you mean? Wingman: ...Oh, I don't know... But come on Charlie, you can't give up now! Me and you, we're a team! And when we're together, there's no problem that we can't overcome! ...Yeah, okay, that sounded kinda gay. But you'll see! Respawning is only one of my helmet's hidden special features. Watch this! *flies straight up and hovers over 9000 feet above the iceberg* Paige: What is he doing...? Wingman spins around super fast and creates a small vortex. Charlie: *shouts up at Wingman* Wingman, what are you doing?! The vortex begins to swallow the island as well as the last remaining penguins. Paige: YOU'RE GONNA DESTROY THE WORLD! The vortex turns into a black hole and begins to suck up the iceberg. Charlie: WINGMAN, STOP!!! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!!! Wingman ignores Charlie and Paige and spins faster and faster. The iceberg raises out of the water and shoots towards the black hole. Charlie/Paige: NOOOOOO!!! A sonic boom occurs, and the entire universe is sucked into the black hole and implodes. Wingman floats at the center of the non-existance and concentrates really hard. Another sonic boom releases from him, and the black hole spits out the universe and begins to turn back time at a rapid rate. '' ''Future Wingman appears behind Sasquatch in his cave right after slicing Present Wingman in half with the Thunder Blade sword. Sasquatch: *turns around* What the?! *looks back at Present Wingman's corpse, then back at Future Wingman* Whatz goin on here? Wingman: Swag. YAAAAAAHHHHH *jumps at Sasquatch, screaming* Two penguins are taking a stroll in the forest when they hear Sasquatch being beaten up and yelling in pain. They exchange glances and back away slowly. '' Wingman: *hops out of the cave with the Thunder Blade in his mouth, flies to Gary's lab, and uses the Thunder Blade to slice his way in* Gary: What in the world?! Wingman, what are you doing?! Wingman: I need the mech. Gary: No way. Wingman: *hands coffee* Gary: Be my guest! :D ''Meanwhile, Charlie and Paige both wake up in the same position they were in in this point in time. Charlie was out in the wilderness with his cat puffle Sady, and Paige was looking after puffles in the Pet Shop. Charlie: What... what happened?! Paige: Am I... am I alive? They both get a call from Wingman on their spyphones. Wingman: This willl seem like an odd question if you didn't, but did you guys keep your memories of me destroying the world? Both (shaken): Yep.... Wingman: Good. Since you witnessed me create the black hole, you got to keep your memories. Basically, I created at rainbow time vortex, and everything has been reversed to about the time when Sasquatch sliced me in half. I knocked him out and stole the Thunder Blade from him, and we need to destroy Scorn once and for all. I'm teleporting you to Gary's lab where the mech is. Charlie, Paige, and Sady appear next to Wingman in the lab. Charlie: *looks around* Cool, but if you're going to fight using that mech, then we're going to need to make some adjustments to it. Sady playfully climbs to the top of the mech and beats Charlie by thirty seconds. Charlie: Very funny. Paige climbs up the mech to the puffle area, pulls off "Evil Mode" button and puts the puffle seat over it. Charlie takes the Thunder Blade from Wingman, climbs up the mech, and sets it in its right hand. It begins to glow a bright golden light. Sady hides behind Charlie to shield herself from the brightness. Charlie: WOAH-HO-HO! Wingman: *flies up and lands next to Paige* Let's do this. Meanwhile, Scorn has completely destroyed the Town Center and has moved onto the Ski Village. Scorn: SURRENDER TO ME YOUR MEMBERSHIPS AND I SHALL MAKE YOUR DEATHS 1% LESS SLOW AND PAINFU- Voice: SCORN!!!!! Scorn turns to see the Puffle Mech 2000, which has grown just as big as him standing behind the Dance Club. Wingman's cockpit is now incased by glass, which makes him appear bigger. Paige, Charlie, and Sady sit behind him. The words "WingMech 5000" are written across it. Gary: Hey, you can't rename my machine! Paige: Shove it, Gary. Gary: Ugh, I should've gotten a patent. *crosses arms* Wingman: *speaks into Wingmech's microphone* Ahem! Is this thing on? Okay, SCORN, *cough cough* sorry, *cough* allergies. *sneezes* I just can't shake this cold. Ahem! SCORN, you've ravaged this island, crushed our buildings, and destroyed countless memberships. The atrocities you've committed against penguinkind are abhorrent and unforgivable, and demand swift, sovereign justice wow, these are big words for me , only punishable by an infinite ban. But because this is Club Penguin, a game made for all ages, and because Disney is really sensitive of violence despite the fact that there's violence in almost every single Disney movie ever made..., I am issuing one final warning to you, Scorn. Leave this place, or die. Scorn: Very well then... *flies away for five seconds then comes back* I left. Wingman: You troll, IS THIS A CHALLENGE? Scorn: Bring it on, puffle. Wingman: *smirks* You've got it. Wingmech picks Charlie, Paige, and Sady up off of its shoulders and sets them down on the Night Club Rooftop where Aunt Arctic, Gary and Sasquatch are watching. Charlie: You. Sasquatch: Me? Charlie tackles Sasquatch and starts beating him. Sasquatch: Not againz! Scorn roars and lunges towards Wingmech. Wingmech puts its arms up and knocks him away. Scorn crashes with a loud thud into the wilderness. Wingmech flies up and lands down next to him. Scorn returns the favor by pushing Wingman into the side of the Clothes Shop. Wingman: Crap, did I just crush something? Scorn shoots a fireball in Wingmech's direction. Wingman pilots the mech upwards as fast as he can, just barely avoiding it.The fireball instead hits and destroys the Clothes Shop, sending debris flying everywhere. Clothes Shop Manager: Dang it, I just paid the mortgage on this! Wingmech lunges forward and punches Scorn in the face, knocking him back. Scorn stands up and prepares to strike again, but Wingmech drops down behind him and traps him in a headlock. '' Paige: Come on Wingman, give it to 'im! ''Scorn breaks free by using his tail to trip the Wingmech and hits it in midair, knocking it back and into the side of Mystery Mountain. Scorn gives a mighty roar and flies towards the Wingmech, a fireball already forming in his mouth. '' Aunt Arctic: Look out!! ''Wingman opens a hatch in the mech's cockpit and throws out the Thunder Blade. The Wingmech graps it in its hand and prepares to strike, but its hands are two big for it. The Thunder Blade falls through and lands in the snow. '' Cadence: Well, he's screwed. *drinks shampagne* ''Before Wingman can react, Scorn tackles the Wingmech and pins it to the ground. Scorn: *laughs* You cannot defeat me, rainbow puffle. Your memberships will be mine, and your island is done for. *releases fireball upon the Wingmech* Charlie: *looks over at Wingman mid-Sasquatch-punch* WINGMAN!!! '*lets unconscious Sasquatch fall to ground* Gary: *spits out coffee* I'M NOT PAYING FOR THAT!!! Scorn: *laughs cruelly as the Wingmech disintegrates then turns to face all of the watching penguins* I AM YOUR RULER NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I CANNOT BE STOPPED!! I AM VICTORIOUS!!! Random Penguin: Heh heh, like the sho- Scorn: SHUT UP! *flies back to the Ski Village and spits several fireballs at the Ski Lodge* ''Charlie ignites his jetpack and flies off of the Dance Club Rooftop towards the ashes of what was once the Wingmech. Sady jumps off of the Dance Club Rooftop and grabs onto Charlie's jetpack to come with him. They touch down next to the Wingmech's pile of ashes. They run to it and quickly start searching around for Wingman. Charlie: Wingman? Wingman!!! Come on, man, I'm not losing you again! Wingman groans. Charlie: He's alive! Where is he?! Sady sniffs behind the pile of ashes and her ears perk up. She meows at Charlie, who flies over. Charlie: Did you find him? *sees Wingman* Oh, phew! *lands next to him and picks him up* Wingman, are you okay? Wingman: *coughs* Yeah... *wheezes* ...I'm fine. Charlie: *turns to Scorn, glaring* Alright, playtime is over. *flies at Scorn, flippers glowing with Snowstone energy* Alright Scorn, the scorning ends here!!! >:( *shoots a blizzard from flippers, freezing Scorn's wings* Scorn: On the contrary, foolish penguin, the scorning has only just begun! Scorn breaks free from the ice, knocks Charlie away, and is about to shoot a fireball at him when Sady pops up from behind and bites Scorn on the ear. Scorn: AGHH!!! Before Scorn can grab Sady, Paige jumps off of the Ski Lift, punches Scorn in the forehead, and lands on his snout. Scorn: Grrr, you're blocking my vision! Paige: Don't mind me, I'm only a distraction! Scorn growls in frustration. Before he can shake Paige and Sady off, Aunt Arctic sneaks up behind him and uses her pookie whip on his backside. Aunt Arctic: YOU... ...NEED... ...TO BE-HAVE!!! *whips again* Scorn exclaims in pain. Before he can turn around, Cadence jumps off of the Everyday Phoning Facility and whacks him with her shampagne bottle, which shatters. Scorn: PENGUINS ARE FOR SECOND GRADERS!!! Gary: Oh well, everyone else has done something so I might as well too... *brings in giant wheeled laser* May I present the Thunder Wave 2000! *shoots at Scorn, weakening him* Charlie: *flies up* Alright, let's finish this. *creates a swirling blizzard around Scorn's legs, freezing them and causing him to fall over* Scorn roars so loud that he creates a shockwave. Windows everywhere shatter and everyone is knocked back. Scorn raises above Charlie, Paige, Sady, Aunt Arctic, Cadence, and Gary, and prepares to kill them all with one final fireball. Cadence: Well, we're screwed. *drinks shampagne* Gary: Where did you even get that? Scorn: Alright, penguins, who likes barbecue? *forms fireball* ''The penguins close their eyes, but before Scorn can shoot the fireball, Wingman flies straight at his neck, the Thunder Blade in his mouth. '' Wingman: '''Like a baws! Scorn: What th- Wingman swings, slicing straight through Scorn's neck. Scorn screams even louder than ever before. Wingman pushes as hard as he can until Scorn's head shoots into the sky, accompanied by a nice little twinkle. Aunt Arctic: I think if I had ears they'd be bleeding! O.O Scorn's body falls to the ground with a heavy thud. Paige: No blood? Charlie: Well, this is Club Penguin... *looks around at debris* Everyone alright? Penguins: Yeah... Charlie: ...Where's Wingman? Wingman: *hovers down to ground, glowing* Right here. *spits out Thunder Blade* Cadence: Woah, trippy colors. Paige: Wait a minute... *gasps* Wingman, think of a rainbow. Wingman: Why? Paige: Just do it. Wingman: Uh, okay. *concentrates* Woah, woah, what's happening?! A large rainbow shoots from Wingman and towards Scorn's decapitated body. Gary: Great Scott! Wingman's rainbow picks up Scorn's body and hurls it far off into the distance. Wingman: What... what just happened...? Paige: Congratulations, Wingman, you're the first rainbow puffle ever to unlock their mind powers! Aunt Arctic: Puffles have mind powers?! Paige: Well of course they do, how do you think they survive in the wilderness with no limbs? The reason rainbow puffles live in the clouds is because for some reason, they didn't seem to have it, but Wingman seems to have just unlocked his! Wingman: Wait... lemme try something... *a rainbow comes out of Wingman and lifts up Cadence* Cadence: Woah, I gotta lay off this stuff... *throws shampagne bottle away* Wingman: Okay, this is awesome! Charlie: What caused Wingman to unlock this ability when other rainbow puffles haven't? Gary: My hypothesis is that because rainbow puffles live in the clouds, little to no harm can come to them. Because of this they've never had any reason to use it and their species slowly forgot about it. Wingman just defeated a dragon king by using his mouth. In the intensity of the moment, Wingman's instincts kicked in and he remembered how to use his telekinesis. Everyone: ... Gary: *sighs* Wingman defeated Scorn and that gave him the Force. Everyone: Ohhh, okay. Suddenly, a large wormhole appears next to them. Charlie: What the fudgsicle?! Aunt Arctic: Hey, it's Rookie! Rookie: Hey everyone, I'm back from my adventures in another dimension! Cadence: ...I'm going to go lie down, I've had enough booze for today... Thanks for reading, everyone! I've had a lot of fun writing this. In the comments, please tell me your favorite episode and what you think is the funniest joke of the whole series. ;) --Charlie the Penguin: Don't just do something, stand there! 05:27, September 10, 2014 (UTC) Category:Blog posts